PerthPublicSanity.ca / Sanity Blog / Seaforth Mask Nazi Goes Bananas
Seaforth Mask Nazi Goes Bananas
Pete Toccalino | August 13, 2021
I had a hilarious altercation in the Seaforth Foodland. The manager there is a serious mask Nazi, but he didn't see me enter maskless and confronted me angrily at the back of the store, eyes bulging with whites showing on all sides (in that now familiar near-homicidal, psychopathic manner).
Holding a big bunch of bananas in my hand, I told him I had an exemption then immediately asked where the feminine hygiene products were (which pissed him off even more).
He aggressively said, "Don't you come within six feet of anybody."
He stood at the top of aisle seven while I looked for the right box of tampons. I took a few extra minutes, taking photos to send to my wife. Really, really funny.
Then, when I turned to go up the aisle, he yelled at me to follow the arrows. I was literally the only customer in the store at the time. I obliged and went the long way around, stopping at the egg cooler.
At the check out he yelled at me again to stop, saying the cashier needed to prepare herself for what I assume are special protocols to check out faced individuals. It looked to me like she put on an additional mask. He stood over the cashier as she checked out my bananas, eggs and tampons, the juxtaposition of which had a special comic effect - but I was clearly the only one who found it amusing.
Of course, it's kind of depressing to see that level of totalitarian psychosis in a small town grocery store in Huron—but that's the effect of sixteen months of psychological warfare on particularly susceptible individuals that don't realize they're under attack.
Pete Toccalino is a former Stratford resident who returns often for the weekly Sanity Nature Walk.
